I just want to talk

Mrs. F

2011-09-05T03:43:00.003+01:00

So I just got back from a jet-ski ride at 4.30 am in Khobar. and guess what? I saw dolphins!! i will admit i freaked out when i saw the first one since there was no one out there other than me and my husband, it was dark-ish, and all these stories about dolphins attacking people and not being as sweet as they look came into my mind.. but eventually, i got over it and it was amazing..

i've been away for quite a while now.. and i kept making notes of stuff i would write about in my blog and just never got to it! so, i looked at my blog today and just decided to write.. cuz it doesn't really matter what i say in the end.. it's a blog, and it's mine!!! nyahahahaha

one of things i wanted to do is blog about my honeymoon.. a few days into my honeymoon i realised THAT was not gonna happen, so instead i decided to keep a note book so i would remember stuff i wanted to say.. you know what happened? well.. Mr. F and I had just arrived to Bombay.. we went out that afternoon for a walk in the market which was right next to our hotel since we had a day free of tour guides to spend as we wished.. while walking through the market i found an young man who was selling the cutest little notebooks and pens. so i supressed the urge to get the blue one and went for the purple one.. i was so excited and wrote all the events for the next week.. i then got a little distracted for a few days.. but when i met Lakshmi (the cutest elephant ever) i went back to my little book to write.. to my surprise, i opened it and found it was BLANK!! it was probably something about the kind of ink and paper, but everything i wrote just vanished!

moral of the story: dont judge a notebook by its cover!

anyhow, i guess i will just have to depend on my memory to write about all the lovely things we experienced in our journey around Asia..

aaaaaand That's all folks..

for now...

Laugh Out Loud

2010-07-16T02:50:00.000+01:00

i like to think of myself as an open minded person.. i don't make a habit out of laughing at other people's cultures..

BUT...... this is just too funny

This one is for you B!

i have said enough..

2010-06-13T16:57:00.004+01:00

there are times when there is just too much to say.. that you say nothing at all.. please excuse my absence.. i have too much to say..

there are times when i can't put down a book.. it tells a story of what i wish was the story of my life.. a book full of white pages with no words, and so much to say..

there are times when i feel the need to write.. i brush the dust off my pens and get a paper.. i sit there for hours, a million thoughts in my head.. i write nothing.. nothing at all.. i put my pen back and fold the paper beneath it.. i feel better.. i have said enough..

there are times when i think of u in silence.. i am sorry for what i have done wrong.. i am grateful for what u have done right! i tell u what u mean to me, in silence..

there are times when i am not sure u know.. i assure u.. i do know.. yet i say nothing..

nothing at all

Farm Ville sucks!!!

2010-02-04T08:00:00.002Z

i used to log on to facebook, and find my home page filled with stories of people planting stuff on their farms in a game called farm ville! it never did interest me in the past.. after a while of people posting about animals on their farms, crops that need to be fertilized and mystery eggs, i decided to go see what all the fuss was about.. i joined farm ville!

it was all fun and dandy in the beginning.. but as i levelled up in the game and as my farm kept expanding, i tried to make it look good.. i became obsessed with my farm (just ask Buffy).. always trying to keep it neat, successful and pretty.. i keep changing the decorations, moving my animals around, colour coordinating the flowers i grow.. however, my farm STILL SUCKS!! it's ugly!!

i just can't get it to look good, i guess i'm just not creative.. Farm ville has really put my life into perspective.. it got me thinking.. i mean, i think i am at least moderately cultured, i do have good taste, i enjoy the arts.. but i still can't make a freakin' virtual farm look good!!!!

i applied that to everything else in my life.. i can sing about twenty thousand songs with the same tune! they all start off right, then get sucked in to my creative-less abyss which makes all things BORING, PLAIN AND THE SAME!!!

i can't even draw.. i'm serious! my father is an amazing artist, and so is my mother.. i have been brought up with so much art and beauty around me, yet yesterday i was drawing something for my 5 year old niece who thought that it was a house, apple, flower, fire truck and an alien before i had to tell her i was drawing an elephant!!!

i can just imagine my future house now, i will have a blue room with only blue furniture, maybe a splash of grey here or there.. a white room with only white furniture, and maybe two wooden objects in the middle and so on.. i will have a PLAIN and BORING house!!!

i'm upset.. because i think that i have had too much exposure to beauty in my life to be boring and uncreative!! can u practice being creative?! hmmmm....

p.s. have i no more readers?! come on people three blog posts in a row!!! show me a little love.. i'm in a very dark and uncreative place right now!

Mama quotes!

2010-02-01T11:14:00.002Z

While watching a random beauty contest, a complete airhead is on stage giving a speech:

my sister: "who is she? Miss what?!"

mama: "Miss-ed the point!"

..................................

While in Harrods in London, a lady wearing a pair of jeans with crystals of all shapes, sizes and colours on them, a white shirt with frills and lots of accessories passes by:

me: "talk about a fashion victim"

mama: "she is not a fashion victim, fashion is HER victim!"

.................................

i heart my mother's dry sense of humor <3

2010, coming to us with a BANG!

2010-01-29T08:15:00.003Z

I like the way this year has started.. for me personally, 2010 is looking up (mashallah) but i'll save the best for last.. firstly, i wouldn't want to forget that a tragedy did take place and the people of Haiti are still suffering.. yet, one of the upsides of globalization is that no one shall be left alone, the whole world has come together yet again to help the people in need. it does make one feel better to see humanitarianism in the headlines everywhere.. If you'd like to do your part, this is a good website for donations (easy to use and does the job)..

One of the things i found amusing was the modern day Robin Hood role the pirates in Somalia have decided to play.. apparently, they have decided to steal from the rich and give to the poor! haha.. ironic! check this out..

now, back to the upside of 2010.. The i-pad! even though it is an oversized i-pod (and also sounds like an ipod from the mouth of a New Yorker, or a Saudi trying to speak in an artificial American accent) and even though it would be uncomfortable to hold up for a long period of time, i am still DYING to get one! maybe even two!! it just makes me want to throw my Kindle in the bin!! but then again, a comment my sister made today did actually make me think. she said that "if apple made toilet paper and called it i-wipe, i'd still go out to buy it and half the population of the world would too" maybe it is just the media frenzy.. hmmm.. who knows?! all i know is that as i said before, I WANT ONE!

what else? OK FINE! I can't think of anything else right now (other than my good news) but it hasn't even been a month! so, whatever! i'll just get to my part..

2010 has been especially special for me because my mother is doing much better health-wise (thank the lord), I have a new nephew (whom i shall meet in a few days inshallah), we are getting 2 new kittens in a week (they are miniature persians that are about as big as a rabbit when they are fully grown), and last but not least, I am engaged!

so, i hope the good news just keeps coming!

how has ur 2010 been looking so far?!

just around the corner

2009-12-20T21:35:00.003Z

As we approach the new year, i find myself feeling... lighter (not only because i went through very drastic means to loose weight) but even emotionally.. I am ready to leap into the New Year with a smile on my face and hope in my heart that this is it.. 2010 is gonna be MY year!!!

so, has anyone achieved any of their 2009 new year's resolutions.. I really have no idea what i vowed to achieve by 2010, so I can't really comment on my progress..

Nevertheless, as always, i will make a new list for 2010 which i might not stick to but it still gives me a sense of direction..i'm not getting into all that now.. instead.. i'm just gonna blab randomly.. "shocking"

I'm in New York at the moment (and have been since July) I'm missing London terribly, yet surprisingly, not as much as I'm missing Saudi.. can't wait to go back and see the rest of my family back home.. the below zero temperature here isn't helping either.. I need to get a pair of snow boots soon cuz when i'm out it feels like i'm ice-skating!! and i really don't want to break anything!!

One of the highlights of my stay here is this show called FuerzaBruta it's AMAZING.. I've seen it twice already and i'm planning on a third visit.. last time i went i got picked out from the audience to have a card board box-type-of-thing smashed on my head, it was filled with little pieces of paper and glitter.. basically they break the thing on ur head then u start dancing like crazy!! now that was fun!

One thing I have learnt to appreciate since i've been in the states is the mixture of apples and salad!! it's like it's an item on every menu in any restaurant (regardless of the cuisine) along with beetroot (which the Americans call beets) and tuna tartar.. what was i going on about?? oh yeah, apples and salad, it's yummy!!

before i leave u with this totally planned and well thought out post, I have one comment, and a question..

Comment: I hate how facebook changed their privacy settings it's really bugging me!!!!!!!!

Question: What the hell is google wave? I don't get what's so special about it!!!!

That'll be all for now, in the spirit of the great United States I would like to say:
Catch u Later Dudes!!!

buzzzz

2009-10-22T21:38:00.001+01:00

The rattling keeps coming back every once in a while..

I hear it in my dreams.. Sometimes its a car starting,

at other times its some sort of bird..

It goes away for a while.. Then comes back..

It begins drilling in my head all over again..

I wish it would stop!

I wish it would stop!

I wish it would JUST STOP!!!!!

I wake up, panting, my heart is racing..

I find myself in my room..

in my bed..

Same surroundings..

Same buzzing sound..

I reach out for the source of the sound..

I pick up my vibrating phone..

i take a deep breath

And hope, that today it will be different,

Today.. there will be good news..

a friend in need...

2009-10-10T03:38:00.001+01:00

When it comes to keeping in touch.. I'm not exactly what u would call a PRO!

I rarely pick up the phone when someone is calling unless its my parents or someone I'm meeting in a bit.. I don't do it on purpose, but I can always think of an excuse to make this a bad time to talk on the phone.. I would much rather txt, its seems more private to me..

The people closest to me know that its not personal at all.. They know its just the way I am.. So they always call again.. And I love them for it..

The thing is.. My family and I have been passing through a very difficult time as of recently.. I was so surprised by the amount of people who called, sent txt msgs, e-mailed, facebook messaged and even went as far as traveling to come be with me and my family in our time of need..

It has made me realise that regardless of how independent u are, and how much u think ur fine on ur own.. Its times like these that u need people around u.. It gives u strength.. A belief that things WILL get better..

I wish I could show my gratitude to everyone who has contacted me to make sure we were ok.. I did thank everyone, but I just feel like I should do more.. What exactly?! I'm not quite sure..

I do know, however, that I will do my best to be there for the people who need me and even the ones who don't know they do yet..

Moral of the story: next time u think ur visit, phone call, txt msg or any other form of contact won't make a difference.. Think again

TTYL everyone (I've decided to use these abbreviations that I'm sure lower ur IQ somehow cuz I'm trying to be cool)

as much as i can say,, for now

2009-09-08T10:34:00.001+01:00

Sometimes it’s dark.. and no matter how hard she tries, she fails sometimes..

That doesn’t mean she won’t try again tomorrow morning..

Sometimes it’s cold.. and no matter how hard she tries, she fails sometimes..

And yet again, you can count on her trying tomorrow morning..

When she does succeed..

Smiles are drawn, joy is born,

It’s safe again..

What helps me get through the darkness and the cold, is that I believe in the sun..

I believe she will try and succeed..

In my world, you are the sun mama..

You will get through this..

You will shine again..

I know it..

And I love you more than words can say..

Let me be

2009-05-30T17:15:00.002+01:00

Un-cuff my hands, if u please..
I create my own restraints..

Throw down that fence, if u may..
I decide my own boundaries..

I am human, am I not? I have choices, do I not?

Just let me be.. u will see.. I am able.. I am

Put down that brush, if u please..
I choose my own colours..

Put down ur voice, if u may..
I can still hear my own thoughts..

I have a brain, do I not?
I have my morals, do I not?

Just let me be.. u will see.. there’s not much u can u change in me..

I have spoken.. I have chosen.. let me out of this cage..

I shall be who I want to be..

I shall do what I want to do..

I shall say what I want to say..

One day....

evolution of thought

2009-04-30T19:58:00.003+01:00

(don't get too excited, the title might suggest a more in depth post, but as always, this is just a bunch of BLAH BLAH BLAH)

you know how people go through phases in their lives?

well... i was thinking about this and i'm not sure if they really are phases.. or just variations of the same sort of thing?

maybe they're even a build up on those things!

am i making any sense?

here...

lets use an example.. say when i was a little girl i was into the colour pink (which is 100% untrue since i'm a blue type of girl) but let's just say i was.. then when i was a teenager i started liking fuschia.. and eventually, as i got older red bacame my favourit colour..

so basically, i have evolved over the years.. but in the end, those colours were just variations on the first colour i was into..

apply that to life.. do our interests, likes, dislikes, way of life, mentality etc etc actually change as we get older?

or are we just attracted to the same kind of thing in a different shade?!

uh uh uh uh oooooooooooh.. i'm lovin' it

2009-04-11T23:32:00.005+01:00

it's almost midnight, the breeze is not as shy as it was for the past few days.. The Spanish music in the background is just right.. i have finally come around to reading 'an interview with the vampire' by Anne Rice and it's just taking me to another world.. with my laptop on my lap, i am just surrounded by so much and absolutely NOTHING on my mind..

i am loving this feeling

i have left the unpredictable weather of London behind, along with the stress of university and the on-going obligations that were just getting too much until i found a grey hair on my arm! yes.... my arm!!

Tenerife, I would like to thank you for this chance to escape, i would like to thank your imported sands, your raging sea, your beautiful flowers that keep falling on me from the trees above without giving me hey-fever.. i would like to thank your lovely people, your beautiful language and your sun that burnt my shoulders and nose..

thank you for this wonderful experience

i must get to bed now, tomorrow my sister, her beautiful son and daughter and i are going whale and dolphin watching.. i'm so excited..

p.s. check out the blogs i'm following three of them are unintentionally speaking to each other

Putting it in words: On the run

Work in Progress: Where are we going?

Trevelyana: I wish i knew

haha, thought that was ironic..

bbye for now

a passion for something lost

2009-03-31T22:46:00.002+01:00

Once upon a time.....

There once lived a girl with a passion so strong.. a passion for something lost..

She cut her hair, and as it grew, she dyed it a bright bright blue..

She wrote a lot, she shared a little.. There was nothing she couldn't do..

Enthusiastic she was, this girl, you see, she was always the lead in the race..

On her way, sometimes she would stray and walk at a different pace..

She let the world pass by her side.. And preached to people to lengthen their stride..

"Wake up" she was told "join the crowd".. "I won't" she said.. She was much too proud..

Today.....

She has once again joined the race.. She picked up her life along with her pace..

She knows much more than she did in the past.. I'm wondering now how long will it last??

Ranting... or just a load of mumbo jumbo..

2009-03-26T02:08:00.007Z

Don't look at me like I am your mirror.. this is not your reflection..

I tell you this with all the love in the world, but, you need to get a life!

Don't put those on, they are mine, those shoes are not your own.. please find a path you carve yourself..

your foot-prints are too small for mine..

Don't pressure me, I'm busy.. I am!! I have so much work to do..

I tell you this with all the love in the world, but, I just can't put a smile on for you today!

I try to smile, and laugh sometimes.. sometimes it's just too much..

I am not sad, nor am I bitter.. I just need to be free!!!

I just need sometime with me..

I'll be back if you let me be gone

for just a bit....

p.s. replied to your comments on my older post.. sorry for the delay :)

It snowed in London :)

2009-02-08T21:34:00.003Z

Yeah so, i've been away for a while!

I'm glad to say i'm still alive.. a different life maybe.. but it still exists..

What have i been up to?!! (wishful thinking that anyone would care to actually ask that haha)

well.. i went back to school.. i am doing another degree in communications with a bunch of 18,19 and maximum 20 year olds! i feel like a granny at uni but it's cool..

my closest friends have moved back to their countries! i thought my life would suck, but hey, guess what? it doesn't.. life goes on!

i've been so busy these days, which is good.. i have long days at uni, my family are here, AND surprisingly i've become more social.. there is much to do..

what else?! well.. i miss blogging, but i think i'm a bit rusty.. i need to find something to write about!!! haha

u know what.. i have an idea.. who ever is reading this.. if there is anyone out there.. ask me questions.. as many as u want.. and i will answer them in my next post!! how about that?!!

they can be questions about me.. general stuff that u just don't feel like researching lol.. or whatever.. won't be mentioning names (unless allowed to) and ummm.. guess that's it :)

it's funny u know.. i just wrote all that and suddenly it hit me.. i really have no idea who i'm talking to!! hmmm.. listen,, even if u don't want to ask a question, just leave a comment and say hello.. just so i don't feel like i'm alone over here lol..

looking forward to c what u've got to say..

xx

EA meeting -Extremist Anonymous

2008-12-07T17:19:00.000Z

“Hello.. I am a Saudi Liberal!!!

I believe in women's rights

I am all for equality

I demand freedom of speech

Please express yourselves….”

(A man with a beard gets up to talk)

“Please shut him up, he is an ignorant fool who probably supports terrorism!!”

“Hello.. I am a Saudi Conservative!!!

I believe women exist to become good wives and mothers

I am all for religious hierarchy

I demand you hear MY voice

Please do as you are told…”

(Nobody gets up to talk)

“I knew the majority of the people supported me!!”

Will we ever be able to push ourselves away from the extremes?!!

WOW it's been a while!!!

2008-11-15T02:40:00.000Z

what's up people? yes, i know, i haven't been blogging!! most of u probably don't give a rat's behind!! but I am still going to say, i'm sorry!! been busy u know..

with what?! well.. most importantly my sister has given birth prematurely to the most precious little girl <3 she's in hospital till about mid December (so it's been hectic). Thankfully, she is stronger than she was when she was born.. she's beautiful.. and we love her!

what else? well,, the exhibition I have been working on for the past year and a half has finally come to life.. if ur in London, plz visit The Edge of Arabia exhibition at the Brunei Gallery in Russel square. If not, then plz visit our website www.edgeofarabia.com where u can see the exhibition and also, WE HAVE A BLOG!!!! plz check it out.. the online shop is pretty cool too *hint hint*

CONGRATS ON OBAMA WINNING PEOPLE!!!! i swear i kept crying every time i heard his speech (even the 175th time!!!!) finally, a man with a brain to rule the world!! we can respect the Americans again.. they proved the world wrong!!

hmmm.. what else?!! well.. I went to a Robin Williams stand up tonight.. i tried not to fall off my seat! the man is Wicked!!!!! my friend was able to get back stage passes.. and we were able to talk to him and take a pic with him too!! he was nice and sweaty!!

That's about it for now.. but I won't bee long this time..

Take care xx

i miss the summer already

2008-10-04T18:01:00.000+01:00

Happy Eid

2008-09-30T00:55:00.001+01:00

I hope you all have a great Eid.. tomorrow we are having our traditional Eid lunch in a non traditional setting since we are all away from home this Eid. We are going to have lunch at a nice garden restaurant here in London. My little nephew has decided he wants to wear a thobe for the occasion. And he asked his mum, aunts and grandmother all to wear hats (i'm not sure why) but i'm a big fan of hats so it'll be fun :)

What are your plans for Eid?!

what's in a photo

2008-09-22T06:19:00.000+01:00

It was a photo I saw at a friends house AGES ago.. it was black and white and simply beautiful.. I could look at it for hours and it just made me happy..

The two faces in the photo were hidden, it seemed to me like they were laughing so hard that they hid their faces unintentionally as the camera snapped that gorgeous moment! I loved it...

I had so many questions about the two in the photo which my friend simply answered with a smile.. I didn't pay much attention I was too involved in the moment..

6 months later.. I get a package.. there was a note on the top saying:
'I remember how it made you smile, I want you to have it'

I was so happy that she gave it to me.. I found the perfect place to put it up in my room.. a hidden spot just like the faces in the photo..

something was off.. I changed the position more than once.. But there was something different about it when I looked at it this time..

Day by day, the hidden faces just kept bothering me more and more.. I could almost see the tears on them rather than the laughs I thought I saw..

Today, I took it down.. It's just too sad for me to look at! I couldn't bare it anymore..

When you be One Hundred...

2008-09-13T22:44:00.000+01:00

This was a conversation between my 5 and a half year old nephew and his Mum

Child: Mummy, when you be one hundred will you still have your telephone with you?

Mum: ummmm, yes, I'm sure I will

Child: will Baba have his phone with him?!

Mum: yes yes, I'm sure he will, why do you ask?

Child: because I want you to ask God if you can call me when your in heaven

Children say the strangest things...

i vote for ANARCHY!!

2008-09-03T04:52:00.000+01:00

I am not for your revolution
nor can I stand aside
and let the world pass me by
and watch it from behind

I am not for your NOISE pollution
your murmurs and your cries
you speak of vice and fraud as well
and many many lies

I CANnot throw it all away
I cannot let it be
nor do I want to follow you
I want to follow ME

You speak of change no you DEMAND
yet all you do is talk
who is it then that you believe
will have to walk the walk?!

I am not FOR your revolution
I cannot STAND your noise pollution
the change that you demand

Wake up my friends and face the world
just do it hand in hand

Or better yet go back to BED
and dream of better days
change may come, one day, that is
long after you've been dead

*someone is in a good mood today.....

Happy Ramadan

2008-09-01T02:19:00.000+01:00

Hope you all have a great Ramadan wa kol 3aam wa antom b5air :)

Me, Myself and I

2008-08-28T02:51:00.000+01:00

I dream of a day yet to come where i will be truly me.. the way i see myself deep down inside.. the way i truly am..

I dream of a day yet to come where i will be wisely sanguine.. not naive nore pesimistic.. the way i truly should be..

I dream of a day yet to come where i will be finally brave.. to face the truth to face myself.. the way i was taught to be..

I am very confused, i don't have time to be confused, the world is passing me by and I am still having second thoughts about EVERYTHING...

I still have faith in tomorrow

what determins the division of happiness?

2008-08-05T01:06:00.000+01:00

so i was at a coffee shop today with some friends and we were laughing really hard at a joke one of them said.. u know when u laugh so much u cry?!! it was actually exhausting.. anyhow, we were enjoying ourselves when one of my friends suddenly said "allah yikfeena shar i'6i7k" as in -may God prevent the evils after laughter- well not literally, but that's the best i can do!!

basically, this is some sort of superstition we have in Saudi (not quite sure of it's presence anywhere else). but many people believe that if you laugh too much in the day u will end up in tears by the fall of night, so they pray to God to keep them safe from the evils that come after laughter

note: this superstition is not religious in any way

so i thought about this for a moment and asked my friend why she would actually believe she wasn't allowed to laugh too much or else she would be punished?!! i personally feel that if you believe u deserve to be happy, i mean truly believe, u will be!! i think we should try to adopt a very positive attitude towards life..

another one of our friends had an interesting point of view.. he was saying that he believes that everyone gets their fair share of happiness and misery.. eventually all the sadness u felt in your life will be balanced out by the happiness..

it's funny how all of a sudden, everything went serious and u got a pessimistic, positive and realistic attitude towards happiness..

after that discussion, i decided that i shall not fear happiness, i shall not expect it, nor shall i believe in the equilibrium.. i have decided not to take life too seriously and stop discussing gifts from God such as happiness and just be thankful for them..

The End

:)

2008-07-16T04:18:00.001+01:00

the day was perfect

she felt great

she looked great

the song on her ipod was exactly right for the mood

it never happened.....

today was not the day

she didn't really care

she was tired and hungry

no expectations

it happened :)

When were you born?!!

2008-06-30T18:42:00.000+01:00

YAWARAKAI
Born 6th August 1984

You were born on a Monday.
Your star sign is Leo.
Your birthstone is Peridot.
The season was Summer.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.
The US President was Ronald Reagan (Republican).
The UK Prime Minister was Margaret Thatcher (Conservative).
Monday's child is fair of face.
You are 23 years 10 months 24 days old.
It is 37 days until your next birthday.
In dog years you are 3 years old.
You are 8,729 days old.
You are approximately 209,515 hours old.
You are approximately 754,252,827 seconds old.

www.dayofbirth.co.uk

I haven't blogged in ages!

2008-06-21T15:51:00.000+01:00

hello

So my summer holidays have begun, my family are here in London.. very hectic, very noisy but fun nonetheless.. i have begun running.. i can barely move half the time because my muscles hurt!! when do u get over than again?!!

Other than that, i have joined Second life.. I'm really enjoying it!! I've made a few friends and also met a lot of weirdos.. but it's cool that u get to be who ever the hell u want to be!! i still haven't learned how to be someone I'm not yet haha.. despite the fact that i look Japanese in the game!

One of my babies is sick.. i gave her some new cat food and now she's throwing up all over the place.. it's sad,, and disgusting :(

My friends birthday is coming up in a few days, were planning a birthday weekend for her.. her birthday is on a Sunday.. there is a hotel here in London which offers a package for a "girls' night in" basically, u stay at the hotel for a night, u get pampered, watch chick-flicks and have full use of the spa and the swimming pool.. we booked that for Saturday.. (we r 5 girls by the way.. how we r going to fit, i have NO idea!!).. and on Sunday, we r having a BBQ in the park.. with a HUGE chocolate cupcake for her birthday cake :D

I will try to blog more often!! have a great summer everyone!!

Random

2008-05-29T12:23:00.000+01:00

-I just finished my exams!!! i'm relieved.. yet i can't help but feel that i just studied too hard for nothing!! i didn't do so great on 3 of them!! or maybe i just didn't study in the way ur supposed to.. whatever way that is.. on one of them,, i wasn't sure if the answer i was writing was the answer to question 1 or 3!! i usually know more or less how i did on the exam when i'm done.. this time,, i have noo idea.. i guess i'll have to wait till July and c

-on another note, i just got my first ever pay-check.. since this is my first ever real job!! it's a good feeling!! the thing is,, i'm not quite sure what to do with the money.. i don't just want to go shopping.. or spend it on something stupid.. i kind of want to frame the check!! how stupid does that sound?!!

-i wanted to thank everyone for their supportive comments on my last post.. and give u a bit of an update on my progress.. i have a counter to show how long it's been since i quit.. but it's not that accurate because i cheated!! i had three cigarettes over the past 12 days.. not bad compared to what i used to smoke.. but i joined the NHS "together" programme which is this support for people who want to quit smoking thingi.. and they told me that i should give myself some time to process the thought of quitting and set a date when i REALLLY won't ever have a ciggi again.. so i did.. i chose the last day of exams which was yesterday.. maybe i should change the counter on my page.. they r really helpful and they send u all these supportive text messages and e-mails and stuff.. it's cool..

-my brother and sister are all back in Saudi, i haven't been alone in the house for over a year.. well i'm not exactly alone, i have my cats :) (the most beautiful creatures in the world).. it was strange in the beginning because i kept hearing noises and doors being opened and i was getting all paranoid.. now i'm just reeeaaallly enjoying the peace.. i forgot how much i like living alone!!

-i just realised that my family are probably reading this.. so this is just a clarification.. that doesn't mean i don't miss u guys!!! i'll probably get bored of the quiet in a few days.. haha

i'm off to do... ummm.. something.... i'm not sure what yet.. but something that is not study related (FINALLLLY)

ciao

an opinion anyone?!..

2008-05-11T20:21:00.000+01:00

i was reading this post (To you, women of arabia..) by trevelyana on (http://trevelyana.wordpress.com/) and it got me thinking.. although what i have to say has'nt much to do with what she was saying.. i realised that the problem lies mostly within our society.. if the majority do this, then u must do the same..

since i was a little girl at school. i have never been asked for my opinion, if you take a look at the Saudi educational system, it is mostly based on memorising texts, and reciting what you have learned (word for word) at an exam. ur opinion is not of any interest to your markers. when i went abroad to study, i found that analytical skills were of the essence. in order to pass an exam, you must show understanding of the topic, and have AN OPINION, rather than reciting the author's opinion from the book you used to study.

Thankfully, my thoughts were not completely neglected growing up. as my opinion would be taken into consideration in the house were i grew up.

However, on the larger scale, as a society i am sorry to say that the majority of people need guidance before taking any steps. more distressing, people need to be guided on how to think. examples of this may be seen socially; what is socially accepted and what is not, does not necessarily make sense, but it is what u have been taught to think. even when it comes to religion, people will not take any actions (even minor ones) until they get the approval of a scholar (despite how dodgy his/her background may be)

as an Arab, u also learn to blame ur problems on other people or factors,, so today,, i have decided to blame the educational system in Saudi..

p.s. on the educational note, froggy ur right, exam time is the best time to blog!!!

p.p.s. sorry i don't know how to link the post

speaking up for Lebanon

2008-05-11T03:06:00.000+01:00

a strong speech by Sahar ALKhatib

very true.....

Numbers.....

2008-05-06T20:19:00.000+01:00

The Cyclone that hit Myanmar today has killed over 22.000 people

(update: death toll has risen to 100.000)

There are THOUSANDS still missing

The death toll is rising.. the numbers are rising

It's strange how human beings with their own lives, family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, work places, hobbies, stories, pictures, houses, pets etc etc.. become NUMBERS..

May God be with them..

To him at least, they will not be just NUMBERS..

i would like to know

2008-05-06T02:24:00.000+01:00

-i would like to know where in my brain did i hide the books i have read in my life?! i remember the times i was reading them,, but i don't remember what they were about or even what they were called!!!

-i would like to know if moments that embarrassed me in the past were to happen all over again now, would i still be embarrassed?!!

-i would like to know if i have ever seen the lady sitting next to me on the bus anywhere before and just don't remember because i just don't care???

-i would like to know what it would be like to live in Japan..

-i would like to know how some people can just leave without saying good-bye?

-i would like to know why i am so scared of spiders when others think they r tiny harmless creatures??

-i would like to know why is it that when i'm angry at someone i can never remember why i was angry in the first place and i end up apologizing for something i don't know!!!

-i would like to know why i don't write poetry as much as i used to!!

-i would like to know how it would feel to know everything!!!

-i would really like to know what the hell i am going on about?!!!!!

An artist today. Maybe a legend tomorrow!

2008-04-20T07:50:00.000+01:00

He was a young boy when he made his first portrait. It just came naturally to him.. With tiny fingers wrapped around a brush which seemed just too big for a hand that small, he had it, the world!!

He was barely 17 when one of his scribbles was called a master-piece and people from all over the country came to see it. And the ones that didn't, surely wished they could..He was given a crown, a throne to sit on. They waited anxiously for anything he would create..

As he grew older, he had many shoulders to help him lift the world.. Friends, family, loved ones, and even strangers who loved him for being him.. They were all there..

As time passed everyone by, he decided to face time. He did not want to be passed by. He challenged time and decided to live in different times at once, to have his own world where he could create many worlds. He needed to stand out!

Bit by bit, the shoulders began to fall.. They could not carry his burdens anymore, they needed more space for their own weights.. The human being is only as kind as he can get.. Here comes humanity!!

He told me once that in order for him to absorb reality, he needed to make some space within him.. At first, he dropped playing cards with his friends.. When there was still much more to take in, he dropped even seeing his friends.. Gradually, he dropped running, he dropped reading, he dropped laughter until one day, he dropped painting!

At first, his subjects still had hope, they clung to whatever they could find of him.. But none of them was strong enough to knock on his door and lend him a shoulder..

He was empty inside, trying to absorb life.. His lack of being him made his world go still.. The dust was settling, he did not care to push it off.. What was the point? He thought.. The people have left me to my solitude and no one would be there to see what lies under the dust.. I am still here, he said.. But no one listened..

A funny creature, the human being is..

Don’t let the dust cover beauty.. Why do we need to wait for ages until we are appreciated?!! The painter will have his day! He will become a legend! There will be people who would have wished to see him.. Tomorrow, that is.. Today, people will just let time pass them by..

Edge of Arabia

2008-04-01T13:39:00.000+01:00

Hello people

I just got back from a great weekend in Paris. It was a business trip but it was very very interesting.. I am volunteering at an educational company called The Offscreen Education Programme (http://offscreened.com/). It is based in London and it basically offers a new kind of arts education for kids in school. basically what they do is educate through real life experiences rather than studying the arts solely from books and trips to museums. They fly kids out from the West to the East and vice versa in order for the kids to experience their counter-parts education first hand. It is a great way to create lasting ties between the cultures and broaden the younger generation's horizon.

At the moment, we are organising an exhibition for contemporary Saudi artists to be held in the UK in October 2008. The exhibition is called 'Edge of Arabia: Art and Identity in The Land of The Prophet'. To all the people out there who don't really know much about Saudi Arabia other than the stereotypes of oppressed women and terrorism; you will be amazed with the talent we have found in the different corners of this massive country. And for the Saudis who are going to see this, you will be very very proud!

The artists include both male and female ones. We have sculptists, painters, photographers and everything you could imagine. From the different parts of Saudi, not restricted to one social class, gender, religious, or even professional back ground; we have come to create a ground breaking exhibition which is the first of its kind in London!!

These artists include regular people like you and me. We have a Police-man from Khamees Mushait who is really into the environment and works with that to create his art. There is also a doctor from Abha who uses X-Rays as art. Also, we have a female photographer who is the creative director at ARAMCO. As you can see, these are samples of the diversity within the artists we have chosen for this exhibition.

The exhibition will also include a book which is unlike any other exhibition book. It will not only look at the work of these artists but it will go further in looking into the lives of these people who created the art. What inspired them? Where they are most inspired? and their day to day routines. It is nothing like you have ever seen before coming from Saudi Arabia and i hope you will all be able to visit when the exhibition is on between October and December 2008.

I will leave you with some pictures of the art

chitchat with the taxi man

2008-03-15T03:19:00.000Z

so i was in a cab today and the taxi man and i were chatting (as one usually does when they're alone in a cab) he asked all the usual questions: where are you from? are you here on vacation or do you live here?

so i told him i was from Saudi Arabia, and that i came here to study..

taxi man: what are you studying?

me: politics

taxi man: why?!!! there ARE no politics in Saudi Arabia

me: why would you say that?!!

taxi man: you have a King don't you?

me: yeah, so?

taxi man: what the king says everyone does. for example: if he asked everyone to wear red shoes every Sunday, that is what everyone would have to do!

i tried to explain to him that we do have a monarch, and yes, we are not a democracy, but that doesn't mean politics does not exist. he then went on and on about how HE knew the solution to all Middle Eastern problems.. and that was.. yes ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it,, the ideology that is the essence of peace, happiness, equality, freedom etc etc.. DEMOCRACY :)

Democracy: government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system.

in theory, this system is Utopian. an ideal dream created by the West working for the West. i say this because for some odd reason, when these Western post-modern missionaries come to spread the joys of democracy in third world countries, they use bombs and fighter planes to spread the peace. they force people into new political systems to promote their freedom to choose. they kill young and old in "friendly fires" to ensure happiness for the rest.. and they will do that to anyone who stands in their way to confirm equality.

i tried to explain to the cab driver that there was no such thing as absolute rule, as there is no such thing as absolute democracy. and that i study politics, in order to understand this horrific phenomenon that conducts the world and try to find a way around it!

i personally think it is very narrow-minded to assume that just because a King reigns over Saudi Arabia, he is in charge of everything within the borders of this massive country.

I mean think about it, if you are the head of a household, you cannot control the every aspect of the lives of the people living under your roof.. let alone an entire 1,960,582 sq km of land and 27,000,000 people!!!

but lets say, hypothetically.. what if an actual absolute dictatorship existed. and i, one of the citizens of this country decided i would like to know how the leader of the country ran his country.. would i not have the right to?!! just because somewhere, someone out there disagreed with my country's system of rule.. would that make me unworthy of the knowledge i would like to gain?!!

When it comes to politics, why is it easy for people to dismiss all views other than theirs even though the ideologies and assumptions are endless?!!

Mika, put your money where your mic is!!

2008-02-21T22:20:00.000Z

there are times when you need your alone time.. and others when alone time makes you claustrophobic! does that make any sense?

i mean, don't you sometimes just want to run away from the noise?! and at other times silence just becomes too noisy?

i don't mean any of this literally of course! but i guess what im trying to say is that when your alone for too long.. your thoughts turn into screams.. too much is going on in ur head.. ur feelings are all over the place.. you have a million things to do.. and another million things you wish you had already done!! it's just too stressful!!

Mika.. I'm sorry but it's too difficult to relax and take it eeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaasyyyy..

maybe they'll invent a button to put your brain on snooze for a while!!

you know what, it's times like these that i regret not being a crack-head!!!

one-way ticket please!!!!

2008-02-19T18:34:00.000Z

Don't you just dream of a world where social responsibility ceases to exist?!!

Why not?!

2008-01-24T06:13:00.000Z

sometimes i wake up and i'm just not in the mood to face the world. well, my world at least! i feel like facing a different world. where i don't have an essay due tomorrow, there is no one i have to explain myself to, no unpaid bills i need to get around to settling, or even no where i just have to go to lunch!!

sometimes i wake up and i just want to run! (metaphorically speaking ofcourse, i'm not exactly the fittest gal on the block!)

my mother always reminds me that in order for me to succeed i actually need to have a goal. and more importantly a plan.

personally, sometimes i wake up and just feel like writing. i don't have a plot, or a particular mood i would like to portray, i just want to write! so i do. like now for instance!

i was weighing the pros and cons of this habit of mine. turns out, statistically speaking, the cons outweigh the pros in terms of success in life.

but don't you sometimes just want to feel free?!

What's so great about happy endings?

2008-01-22T05:41:00.000Z

The thing about happy endings is that they're still endings!!

When were reading, listening or even living a story, we can deal with all the drama, the trauma and the nerve wrecking second tries; just for that marvelous happy ending!! When Cinderella finally marries Prince charming after having to put up with her horrific step sisters and step-mother, the story ends there! What's the point? When she finally reaches her highest point of happiness, it ENDS!!

Why is it that we work hard, sacrifice a lot, get lost on the way and find our way back just to have that fairy-tale ending?! Why can't we have a fairy-tale beginning? Why can't we just be happy from the start?

You may be thinking that all this is just unrealistic, you may even be one of those who think people don't deserve to be happy from the start, and that they need to work hard to achieve happiness.. I can agree to some extent with both these theories, BUT I would at least like to know what comes after the happy endings? What are Cinderella and Prince charming up to now? Are they still happy?

Unless someone can answer my question, I think I will start skipping the last chapter in a book! I'd rather use my imagination to create tens of chapters where happiness never ends!

Having said that, this is my blog! This is my happy beginning, with no endings.. I don't promise to blog forever, but I won't end this blog ever!