buzzzz

The rattling keeps coming back every once in a while..

I hear it in my dreams.. Sometimes its a car starting,

at other times its some sort of bird..

It goes away for a while.. Then comes back..

It begins drilling in my head all over again..

I wish it would stop!

I wish it would stop!

I wish it would JUST STOP!!!!!

I wake up, panting, my heart is racing..

I find myself in my room..

in my bed..

Same surroundings..

Same buzzing sound..

I reach out for the source of the sound..

I pick up my vibrating phone..

i take a deep breath

And hope, that today it will be different,

Today.. there will be good news..

a friend in need...

When it comes to keeping in touch.. I'm not exactly what u would call a PRO!

I rarely pick up the phone when someone is calling unless its my parents or someone I'm meeting in a bit.. I don't do it on purpose, but I can always think of an excuse to make this a bad time to talk on the phone.. I would much rather txt, its seems more private to me..

The people closest to me know that its not personal at all.. They know its just the way I am.. So they always call again.. And I love them for it..

The thing is.. My family and I have been passing through a very difficult time as of recently.. I was so surprised by the amount of people who called, sent txt msgs, e-mailed, facebook messaged and even went as far as traveling to come be with me and my family in our time of need..

It has made me realise that regardless of how independent u are, and how much u think ur fine on ur own.. Its times like these that u need people around u.. It gives u strength.. A belief that things WILL get better..

I wish I could show my gratitude to everyone who has contacted me to make sure we were ok.. I did thank everyone, but I just feel like I should do more.. What exactly?! I'm not quite sure..

I do know, however, that I will do my best to be there for the people who need me and even the ones who don't know they do yet..

Moral of the story: next time u think ur visit, phone call, txt msg or any other form of contact won't make a difference.. Think again

TTYL everyone (I've decided to use these abbreviations that I'm sure lower ur IQ somehow cuz I'm trying to be cool)

as much as i can say,, for now

Sometimes it’s dark.. and no matter how hard she tries, she fails sometimes..

That doesn’t mean she won’t try again tomorrow morning..

Sometimes it’s cold.. and no matter how hard she tries, she fails sometimes..

And yet again, you can count on her trying tomorrow morning..

When she does succeed..

Smiles are drawn, joy is born,

It’s safe again..

What helps me get through the darkness and the cold, is that I believe in the sun..

I believe she will try and succeed..

In my world, you are the sun mama..

You will get through this..

You will shine again..

I know it..

And I love you more than words can say..

Let me be

Un-cuff my hands, if u please..
I create my own restraints..

Throw down that fence, if u may..
I decide my own boundaries..

I am human, am I not? I have choices, do I not?

Just let me be.. u will see.. I am able.. I am


Put down that brush, if u please..
I choose my own colours..

Put down ur voice, if u may..
I can still hear my own thoughts..

I have a brain, do I not?
I have my morals, do I not?

Just let me be.. u will see.. there’s not much u can u change in me..



I have spoken.. I have chosen.. let me out of this cage..

I shall be who I want to be..

I shall do what I want to do..

I shall say what I want to say..

One day....

evolution of thought

(don't get too excited, the title might suggest a more in depth post, but as always, this is just a bunch of BLAH BLAH BLAH)

you know how people go through phases in their lives?

well... i was thinking about this and i'm not sure if they really are phases.. or just variations of the same sort of thing?

maybe they're even a build up on those things!


am i making any sense?


here...

lets use an example.. say when i was a little girl i was into the colour pink (which is 100% untrue since i'm a blue type of girl) but let's just say i was.. then when i was a teenager i started liking fuschia.. and eventually, as i got older red bacame my favourit colour..

so basically, i have evolved over the years.. but in the end, those colours were just variations on the first colour i was into..


apply that to life.. do our interests, likes, dislikes, way of life, mentality etc etc actually change as we get older?

or are we just attracted to the same kind of thing in a different shade?!

uh uh uh uh oooooooooooh.. i'm lovin' it

it's almost midnight, the breeze is not as shy as it was for the past few days.. The Spanish music in the background is just right.. i have finally come around to reading 'an interview with the vampire' by Anne Rice and it's just taking me to another world.. with my laptop on my lap, i am just surrounded by so much and absolutely NOTHING on my mind..

i am loving this feeling

i have left the unpredictable weather of London behind, along with the stress of university and the on-going obligations that were just getting too much until i found a grey hair on my arm! yes.... my arm!!

Tenerife, I would like to thank you for this chance to escape, i would like to thank your imported sands, your raging sea, your beautiful flowers that keep falling on me from the trees above without giving me hey-fever.. i would like to thank your lovely people, your beautiful language and your sun that burnt my shoulders and nose..

thank you for this wonderful experience

i must get to bed now, tomorrow my sister, her beautiful son and daughter and i are going whale and dolphin watching.. i'm so excited..




p.s. check out the blogs i'm following three of them are unintentionally speaking to each other

Putting it in words: On the run

Work in Progress: Where are we going?

Trevelyana: I wish i knew

haha, thought that was ironic..


bbye for now

a passion for something lost

Once upon a time.....

There once lived a girl with a passion so strong.. a passion for something lost..

She cut her hair, and as it grew, she dyed it a bright bright blue..

She wrote a lot, she shared a little.. There was nothing she couldn't do..

Enthusiastic she was, this girl, you see, she was always the lead in the race..

On her way, sometimes she would stray and walk at a different pace..

She let the world pass by her side.. And preached to people to lengthen their stride..

"Wake up" she was told "join the crowd".. "I won't" she said.. She was much too proud..



Today.....


She has once again joined the race.. She picked up her life along with her pace..

She knows much more than she did in the past.. I'm wondering now how long will it last??